What rhymes with free? ME—well you, but you get what we mean. This September, all the free things are looking pretty damn saucy. We’ll put it right out there, Melbourne's Dachshund Race is back this month and it’s a zero-cost, 100% smiles guaranteed event.
And it’s just one of 16 Free Things To Do In Melbourne This September. Let's get cracking.
MFW Cocktails At Emporium
Tonight, Emporium will be giving you free signature cocktails to kick off Melbourne Fashion Week. The one-night-only pop-up bar will be serving Emporium’s ‘Blushing’ cocktail: a concoction of gin, rose vermouth, and lemon with spritz to have you feeling the vibes of the Emporium Melbourne Open-Air Runway. Strutting their stuff and literally stopping traffic on Little Bourke Street, check out the runway models wearing the best from Dion Lee, Camilla & Marc, and more. Prizes, activities, and free samples are all up for grabs too.
Where: Luxe Blushing Bar, Level 1 Emporium, 287 Lonsdale Street
When: 6pm, Friday 1 September
For more info, click here
Harry Potter Day
Look, the events *supposed* to be for kids, but screw that. So get your wands out, because Harry Potter Day’s flying in fast. As the name suggests, it'll be all about celebrating the boy who lived. There'll be trivia for all you insufferable know-it-alls and a film screening of The Philosopher’s Stone to hit you right in the childhood feels. Kids can get up to all sorts of mischief with craft activities, a Sort Hat, and face-painting.
Where: Federation Square, Cnr Swanston and Flinders Street
When: 10:30am-5pm, 3 September
For more info, click here.
Fad Comedy With Andrew Roberts
Tickle your Tuesdays with a free night of comedy hosted by ABC TV’s Andrew Roberts. Having produced and starred in six stand-up events at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, Andrew’s no stranger to the stage. Prep yourself for a raucous night when he introduces you to Australia’s best comedic talent.
Where: Fad Gallery, 14 Corrs Lane
When: 8:30pm-10:30pm, every Tuesday in September
For more info, click here.
Sustainable September Festival At South Melbourne Market
Sustainable September is all about teaching each other how to recycle and reduce waste. Running for the entire month, the South Melbourne Market festival will have countless sustainably-themed activities on for all ages to enjoy and learn from. At the Waste Free Kitchen, you’ll watch a free cooking demonstration about trying to cut down on wasted food. There's also self-guided tours of the Sustainable Circuit, to teach yourself how to be a sustainable shopper at the market. For the kids, visit Fairy Petunia for songs and games about sustainability, or head down to Make Your Own Denim Bag to transform your old jeans into a study tote or day bag.
Where: South Melbourne Market
When: 1 – 29 September
For more info, click here.
Plastic Free With Sandra T
Mycologist (we'll save you a Google: it's the study of fungi), Dr Sandra Tuszynska will be running a free lecture, Q&A session and a workshop for all you biology lovers. If you’re interested in the potential future of fungi (like it being grown into an ethical and biodegradable alternative to plastics) then head down to Monash University’s Clayton campus for some science talk.
Where: Monash University Clayton Campus
When: Friday 8 September
For more info, click here.
Yum Cha Cooking Workshop
Get your Masterchef on with this cooking workshop teaching you the best tips and tricks to prepare your favourite Yum Cha dishes from scratch. The cooking class is strictly a no-kids zone, so time to call the baby/dogsitter. This workshop is free, but you have to book online. Better be quick.
Where: East Melbourne Library, 122 George Street East Melbourne
When: 11am-1pm, Saturday 9 September
For more info, click here.
Queen Vic Winter Night Market
Hawaiian Snack Packs, 400 Gradi pizza, gourmet pies, CHEESE—you know the drill. The Winter Night Market has been extended due to the fierce demand of Melbourne's food lovers. Entry’s free if you’re just up for a stroll and play with temptation. Enjoy the live acts as well if you’re looking for a place to unwind.
Where: Queen Victoria Market, Cnr Elizabeth and Victoria Streets
When: 5pm-10pm Wednesdays, until 10 October
For more info, click here.
Viva Brazil Festival
Get down to Queen Vic to celebrate Brazil’s Independence Day with Copacabana International restaurant. They’ll be presenting a two-day fest for all your favourite dishes and fiery cocktails. But if you’re trying to save some money, kick back and relax while watching some traditional dance.
Where: Queen Street Plaza, Queen Victoria Market
When: 10am-3pm, Saturday 9 & 10am-4pm, Sunday 10
For more info, click here.
Suitcase Rummage
Even if you’re just dropping by, the suitcase rummage is a pretty cool event to check out. With anyone bringing down a luggage or two to rummage through, you can get your hands on some jewellery or even a vintage record. Make some money by applying to be a vendor, then you can play swapsies for items instead of paying for them. #winning
Where: Federation Square, Cr of Swanston & Flinders Street
When: 11am-4pm, Sunday 17 September
For more info, click here.
Australian Showjumping Championships
With just a cruisy 40 min drive out of Melbourne, you could be watching the 56th running of the Australian Showjumping Championships. There'll be competitors from the Olympics and World Equestrian games and plenty of other competitors ready to give them a run for their money. Entry is free until 16 September, after that admission will be twenty dollars.
Where: Werribee National Equestrian Centre
When: 8am- 4pm, 13-17 September
For more info, click here.
Hophaus Annual Dachshund Race
We don’t mean to alarm you but there’s going to be a DACHSHUND DOGGO RACE *internal screaming*. Back again for its third year because it’s just such a pawpular event, Hophaus Bavarian Bier Bar Grill is hosting the event as part of Oktoberfest celebrations. And the emotional fun keeps on going with a costume parade for God’s gift to the world. Just imagine it: sausage dog in hot doggo costume #ded.
Where: Southgate Restaurant & Shopping Precinct, 3 Southgate Avenue Southbank
When: 11am-1pm, 23 Saturday September
For more info, click here.
Dragon Boat Racing
For the over forties, *insert Dad joke here*, grab your friends and head down to Docklands for some Dragon Boat Racing. You can be a rowing veteran or completely new to the sport, it doesn’t matter as long as you give it a go. The free tryout is open to anyone over the age of forty.
Where: Community Hub at The Dock, 912 Collins Street Docklands
When: 8:20am-10:30am, Saturday 23 September
For more info, click here.
Web-Weaving Wonders At Royal Park
Make Steve Irwin proud and go searching for our eight-legged friends. Under the careful and helpful guidance of park rangers, you can explore the creatures of Royal Park as part of the Junior Ranger Program…but maybe don’t bring your new friends home for your parents to see. It’s a free fun-filled morning but be sure to make a booking. Arachnophobes, stay far far far away.
Where: Royal Park, Australian Native Garden, 1 Gatehouse Street Parkville
When: 10am, 26-27 September
For more info, click here.
#OWNIT! Street Art Exhibition
Whether it’s Kim K and Tay Tay, or a McGregor and Mayweather getting hot and heavy, Melbourne’s infamous for its street art. So this September, the Melbourne Fringe Festival will be showcasing the very best of local and international artists. There'll be plenty of graffiti art, paste-ups and photography from artists like Lisx, Tinky, myheadsajungle, and Monstery & Me. Get your Instas ready, this one’s going to be edgy.
Where: Meat Market, 1-7 Blackwood Street North Melbourne
When: 6:30pm-9:30pm, 26-30 September
For more info, click here.
Footy Finals Festival
Footy fans are invited to celebrate the finals weekend with a footy festival celebrating the best of AFL, food and music. Don’t miss the Toyota AFL Grand Final parade for a peek at the trophy and all your fave players. Or roll out your picnic blanket and dream your team winning the glory at the Grand Final Eve concert. Biggie Smalls, Mistress Estelle, Bunch & Purchese and many more will be keeping stomachs happy throughout the fest.
Where: Yarra Park, outside Gate 3 of the MCG
When: 27-30 September
For more info, click here.
Trviai On The Roof At Campari House
At Campari, you can enjoy some Sunday arvo trivia with friends and family that coincidently coincides with Happy Hour and dinner specials. And even if the chilly weather persists, Campari has a retractable room to keep you all warm and toasty.
Where: Campari House
When: 4pm-6pm, Sundays until 1 October
For more info, click here.
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Image credit: Hophaus.com
