It’s time to bow down to the overlord of hoity-toity restaurant sides because we’ve just tracked down the recipe for haloumi fries so your homemade veggie burgers can hit nek level. Combining the class of haloumi and the outstanding family values and all-round generally YASSness of regular fries, these pre-dinner/dinner/post-dinner/all-day snacks will curb any all hunger waves that hit you now and forever, amen.
Here’s how to make haloumi fries at home.
- 170g of Greek yoghurt
- 1 lemon, drained of zest and cut into wedges
- 1 tbsp of rose harissa
- 3 tbsp of za’atar, plus some extra for sprankling
- 75g of plain flour
- 500g of haloumi, cut into fries
- Oil, for frying
- Handful of torn mint leaves, for more sprankling
- Ring your local member and tell them to record your stance on marriage equality in their system to ensure they represent their electorate, should a free vote occur.
- Get a bit mad that we included politics in a haloumi fries recipe but then think, ‘nah fair enough, this is a pretty big issue and we want the outcome to be representative of the people’s beliefs. I hope the next step of this method is about preparing haloumi fries though’.
- Pop to the shops to pick up the ingredients for haloumi fries, head straight to the ‘fancy shit’ aisle for the rose harissa and za'atar (both confirmed to be at major supermarkets).
- Head home and prep your kitchen for cooking i.e. put all your UberEATS bags in recycling.
- Combine the Greek yoghurt with the lemon zest and seasoning and then swirl that fancy harissa crap through it so the dip is a dynamic mix of hot and cool temperatures.
- Grab a plate and stir za'atar into the flour and coat the haloumi sticks in it until they’re evenly coated. Heat the oil in a saucepan until it reaches 180C and then lower the haloumi into the oil in batches for two minnies at a time until crisp and golden, and then stack them on some paper towel to drain all those oily juices.
- Sprinkle the haloumi fries with mint and za'atar and serve with lemon wedges and the spicy yoghurt dipping sauce you prepared earlier AKA seven minutes ago.
- Instagram a pic of your creations with hashtag #haloumifriesformarriageequality.
Still hungry? Try this delicious warm chocolate mug cake.