Another Monday, another opportunity to sit with our heaters on full blast and be thankful we’re nowhere near the Wall.
Opening up in Bravos with our favourite Cersei, Lady Crane. She seems to have taken Arya’s advice on board about being angry over (evil) Joffrey’s death. And speaking of Arya, apparently Lady Crane’s dressing room is the safest place she could find because here she is bleeding and white as a ghost. Whatever sleep potion Lady Crane gives her sure as hell ain’t regular old Melatonin.
Changing scenes to a bunch of guys sitting around a campfire. You always know there’s going to be trouble when scenes are seemingly happy. Not 2 seconds later, in comes The Hound, swinging. He’s literally come in swinging an axe. He is pissseeeddddd his 5 minutes of idyllic life are over.
Back in Meereen with what’s probably the best and most unexpected bromance in the entire Seven Kingdoms—Varys and Tyrion. Very short and sweet moment leaving us wondering where on earth Vary’s is going, and why?
In the Red Keep, Cersei ain’t got no time for her cousin Lancel and his priest business, making demands. Or maybe she’s just been dying to try out her new toy, the Franken- Mountain because come on Cersei, you’ve got literally no one on your side so ‘I choose violence’ was definitely a cocky, not a smart answer.
Brienne and Pod—something makes me really happy about their relationship. So I assume it’s doomed to fail. There’s a whole lot of boring political tactical talk with Brienne and Jamie, showing how truly messed up Westeros is. I’m convinced that there’s some sort of twisted underlying sexual tension between these two. I’m no master in medieval warfare but I’m going to guess that letting someone else go into the castle you’ve got under siege to convince the siege leader to vacate the castel, so that the army can go and fight against your army, is a pretty big no no. But again, I’m no medieval warfare expert.
Stuck in the Red Keep, Cersei is really having a crappy time lately. Even her own son won’t talk to her and she’s been relegated to ‘the gallery’. And there goes little Tommen, just ruining his mother’s whole plan to have a trial by combat. But trust Cersei to be planning something as backhanded as everything she was doing that got her into this mess. Minus setting Franken-Mountain loose on some priests, so I’m expecting serious fireworks.
The dynamic between Tyrion, Meisindei and Greyworm is so awkward I feel so uncomfortable watching this. I’m almost thankful for the boatload of ships that broke the awkward tension.
TBH, I’d totally forgotten about Edmure before last week’s episode. No one seems to trust Jamie, and when you’re known around town for stabbing your boss in the back, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Talking about Catlyn is clearly a sore point for Edmure, and Jamie capitalises on this. Something must have gone down because next minute Edmure is in the castle and ordering everyone to surrender.
I’ve gotta say, wow, Pod is a terribly slow rower.
Things are getting hectic AF in Meereen; the masters are really coming at them with the firebombing. But WHOAH Danarys is back in Meereen, with her dragon, and looks pissed off about the whole firebomb situation.
Back on The Hound and he’s found Berrick Dondarion, another character I’d vaguely forgotten about. Only in GOT would you find someone calling people who want to hang other people ‘nancies’ for not chopping them up into little bits.
Back with Arya and thank gawd coz if she’d spent the whole episode sleeping I’d have been mad. Run Forrest run—I can’t deal with another Stark dying, I really can’t. For someone who got stabbed multiple times in the stomach, Arya could probably beat the Bravosi version of Ussain Bolt considering how she’s running and ruining market places. I will admit I had lost faith in her until she whipped out Needle and was up on her feet. But my god that death looks a little brutal by the Waif’s bleeding face on the wall. Jaquin Hagar looks way too pleased when Arya says she’s going home…… I’m immediately suspicious and can’t wait until next week.
Image credit: Screen Rant