Funny

25 Signs You’re A Serial Procrastinator

By Rachel Lay - 10 Oct 2017

Procrastination. It can make a damn fool out of the best of us. One minute you’re speeding through your to-do list, ticking shiz off left, right, and center, and then the next you’re knee deep in a Wikipedia page about Chop Chop Chang (that’s the first monkey in space, FYI).  Honestly, there’s no judgment here, we’re serial procrastinators through and through—hence why writing this list was so easy (apart from the time spent procrastinating, obvz).  

Our pals over at Dare Coffee Co. get it; they really do. So much so, they’ve just come out with a fancier fix to our procrastination blues. Enter, Dare Cold Pressed. We’re talking three natural ingredients: 100% Arabica cold brewed coffee, fresh milk, and a dash of raw sugar. All carefully crafted to create a balanced, full-bodied flavour. Do we know this because we spent a lil' too long researching before we started writing? Yes. Does that count as procrastinating? Also yes.

If you’re here to prove yourself as a serial procrastinator, keep reading, because reading this definitely counts as procrastination:

  1. You opt to skip all pressing tasks for doing a coffee run.
  2. Checking your junk folder in your inbox becomes a priority—you love spam mail, you just might not know it yet. 
  3. You start getting panicked about what your co-workers are thinking of you as you not-so-subtly crack open a bag of chips at 9:30 am.  
  4. You mentally plan dinner based on your (very empty) pantry contents and ponder if you would have reigned supreme pre-Ready Steady Cook's demise.   
  5. You organise your desk, your drawers, your bag…nothing is safe, but everything is now clean. 
  6. You’ve just implemented a new email organisation system. How long will it last? Irrelevant. 
  7. Your co-workers have told you more than once that your convoluted, far-fetched Bachelorette theories are distracting them, and don’t really make any sense.
  8. You literally waste time procrastinating by googling how to stop procrastinating.  
  9. You browse stationary websites for ~productive~ things like Post-It Notes and new highlighters. 
  10. Which then forces you to spend time reassessing your budget.  
  11. You begin the search for your new pooch, care of stumbling across an animal adoption Facebook page.  
  12. Which then causes you to put extensive time into researching your ideal dog breed based on your star sign. 
  13. Your Facebook memories suddenly become interesting enough to share. With the whole office. And your boss.  
  14. Creating a Pinterest board of productivity hacks somehow isn’t making you more productive. Weird.
  15. You’ve opened, closed, refreshed, and everything in between on Facebook for the last twenty minutes.
  16. You’re weirdly on top of all of your housework.  
  17. You've watched all 2,857,243 cat videos on Youtube and have started all over again.
  18. Unstacking the office dishwasher suddenly seems like a fun idea. Not to mention the cupboards could probably do with some organising. 
  19. You’ve really tired yourself out with all that procrastinating, so it’s probably time for another coffee, if you're being honest. 
  20. You start to question if people are judging you for the amount of times you’ve walked to and from the bathroom in the last 15 minutes. 
  21. You decide to go through your bank statements. Line by line.  
  22. Calling your third step-cousin for a chat becomes really, really appealing. 
  23. You just need to duck outside for some fresh air.  
  24. You decide to tuck into your lunch at 10:30am.  
  25. You’re shocked when 12pm comes around and surprise, surprise: you’re hungry again.  

All these points have you dreaming of a coffee? Check out Dare Coffee Co.’s new Dare Cold Pressed right here.

Editor’s Note: this article is sponsored by Dare Coffee Co. Thank you for supporting the sponsors who make The Urban List possible. For more information on our editorial policy, please click here

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