The stars have aligned and the universe has dealt us some absolute doozies this week. Will it be luck, love, happiness or some srs hardships coming your way? Fingers crossed it's a combination of love, luck and tequila.
Buckle up. Here’s what you’re *really* in for this week.
Luck is not on your side, Caps. This is not the week to invest in some new shares or even take out a lotto ticket. You’ve been very naughty, and the universe is making you pay.
All that motivation and hard work is paying off. You’re so close to achieving your goal, just keep at it a little longer. Lookout world, because you’re here to SLAY. In other news, look out for a mysterious red-headed stranger.
WHOA. Reel It back in, Pisces! Your Sunday sesh’s at Revs are turning into week-long benders, and we’re getting worried. Go home, have a shower and a salad, because you need a serious cleanse.
Challenge yourself, Aries. Whether it’s trying meatless Mondays or even climbing a damn mountain, you need to step out of your comfort zone and try something now. Life's too short to sit on the fence.
It's FINALLY happened! Love is in store for you this week, you cheeky little Taurus! ‘The One’ is out there just waiting for you to find them, so make sure you swipe right (unless it's a gym pic, no-one got time for that).
It’s time to regroup. Breathe in…and out, and get your life back on track. Because, damn–things aren’t looking good. Snap out of it, Leos.
Snatch up all those extra shifts at work, Gems, because you’re gonna need some extra bank for that trip you’ve got planned. Yeah, it’s probably time to warn the boss that you’re leaving. Fingers crossed your jobs still waiting for you when you come back…
It’s time to appreciate Bae for everything they’ve done for you. Heck, you’ve put them through the ringer with all your BS. Treat them to a home-cooked meal, knock back a few glasses of red together and feel the luuuuurve.
Start taking some care of yourself, Virgo. It’s about time for an eyebrow wax, haircut and a deep-pore cleanse. Yikes, you nasty.
Kick back on the couch and rest those exhausted legs. You’ve been working like an absolute machine and now you deserve some chill time. Devour some Chinese takeout while binge-watching MasterChef. You’ll be as good as new in no time.
Stop ignoring your phone reminders and GET SHIT DONE. Book that doctors appointment, pick up your dry cleaning and please for the love of G-d go to the supermarket. You’ve been living off instant Mi Goreng noodles for weeks now.
It’s that time of the year for a hobby hunt. Will it be the guitar, pottery, baseball or maybe yodelling? You’ll never know till you try.
Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist