25 Reasons Why Brisbane Is Better Than Sydney and Melbourne

It seems silly to compare cities. People settle wherever they settle for a myriad of reasons, whether it be family, work, love, or just chance. 
 
That being said, it becomes a little tiresome to hear residents of Australia's two biggest cities, Sydney and Melbourne, belittling (or just downright ignoring) poor Brisbane because they believe their own cities are the be-all and end-all. 
 
It's not uncommon to hear Brisbanites, themselves, making disparaging remarks about the River City, and comparing it unfavourably to the big smokes down south.
 
Sure, the New South Wales and Victorian capitals are grand, but there is plenty to be proud about in our own metropolis.
 
I can think of literally thousands of reasons why Brisbane is better than Sydney and Melbourne, but, for the sake of brevity, here are the first 25 that come to mind:
 
jacarnada tree brisbane better than sydney and melbourne
 
1. There is only one major newspaper in the city. Who needs the white noise that comes with multiple voices when you can get your news from just one clear, opinionated, slightly hysterical source?
 
2. Less chance of being targeted in a nuclear strike or alien attack (ignoring the fact that if we were invaded from the north, Brisbane would be the first city to fall).
 
3. Hotter weather equals less clothes. No need to spend money on your fancy scarves, turtleneck sweaters, and berets up here. Mate.
 
4. Like the ads say, we're Australia's new world city. No, I don't know what that means, just accept it and move on.
 
5. There's no Funnel Web Spider named after Brisbane. Sydney, I'm looking at you.
 
6. Syd-Vegas and Melb-Vegas sound ridiculous.
 
7. World Expo '88. Together, we showed the world.
 
8. The 2018 Commonwealth Games are going to be held just 50 minutes drive up the road at the Gold Coast (11 minutes if flying cars have been invented by then). Only 1685 more sleeps!
 
9. Brisbane does not tend to hang on to historical buildings for sentimental reasons, as is common in Sydney and Melbourne. We knock 'em down and replace them with newer, less-charming-but-more-efficient structures. We even got rid of those pesky trams back in '69. Try to keep up, Melbourne.
 
10. In Brisneyland, Bikram Yoga isn't a thing you pay for. If we want to do yoga in 40 degree heat, we just go and do it outside during the summer months.
 
11. Our team won three AFL premierships in a row and we don't care that much about AFL, or even know all the rules.
 
12. The Queensland capital has 261 days of sunshine per year, compared to 236 in Sydney and . . . *stifles laugh* ... 185 in Melbourne.
 
13. Famous blockbuster movies shot in Brisbane include Scooby-Doo, Street Fighter, and Inspector Gadget 2.
 
14. This city's vibrant music scene has produced acts as diverse as Powderfinger, Ball Park Music, and Savage Garden. What have Melbourne and Sydney come up with apart from Barry Crocker and a couple of Minogue sisters?
 
brisbane better than sydney and melbourne
 
15. Smart/casual in Brisbane means thongs instead of bare feet. Formal means wearing jeans instead of shorts. 
 
16. Brisbane is a breezy four-hour drive from Bundaberg and the Mon Repos Turtle Rookery.
 
17. More bridges per capita than any other city on Earth. Probably. 
 
18. Brisbane was smarter when choosing sister cities. Though quite dull on the surface, the likes of Kobe and Daejeon aren't going to outshine us, the way Sydney (San Francisco, Florence) and Melbourne's (St Petersburg, Milan) sister cities clearly do to them. 
 
19. There hasn't been an Underbelly series based in Brisbane. Basically, it's a crime-free zone.
 
20. Satellite city, Ipswich is the world's most liveable mid-size city.
 
21. We're further away from Adelaide. Ouch. Sorry Adelaide, I didn't really mean that.
 
state of origin brisbane
 
22. Brisbane has produced more State of Origin winning players in the last eight years than both Sydney and Melbourne combined.
 
23. In 2003, Brisbane's inner-city district was named the world's best downtown precinct by the International Downtown Association. How do you like them apples, southern cities!? *sounds of bottom of barrel being scraped*
 
24. At Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary you are allowed to hold the koalas, unlike in the 'square' states where the practice is no longer permitted.
 
25. Our river is crazy wriggly
 
Agree? Let us know more reasons that Brisbane is better, below in the comments section.
 
TUL Note: After a six-year stint as a freelance journalist in Buenos Aires, Daniel is back in Brisbane to find that his knowledge of Argentinian football is of little practical value here. Luckily, his other areas of expertise, such as eating food, drinking wine, and writing about it, are applicable across most cultures. 
 
 
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17 comments
Posted by Kathy Gough at 11:01AM on 6th September 2013

I would prefer the heading to be 25 reasons to live in Brisbane. Being born in Brisbane having been the brunt of southerners lame superiority complex forever, I feel I don't need to succumb and participate in their stupid we are better than Brisbane game. I'ts sad that its rubbed off on so many people aka Jim Dobbin and co who feel they have to 'hide' where they live from the southern capitals.Gee if its that bad move there and move now. Don't waste your lives lying about where you live.Lifes too short to be embarrassed. Anyway on with the game:
27: Stradbroke and Moreton Island - pristine island paradise under 1 hr from Brisbane
28: Our Hinterlands - all of them!
29: A BBQ breakfast in a cabana on the Shorncliffe foreshores Sunday mornings - stunning sparkling bay views out to the bay islands
30: GOMA & the Cultural Centre
31: Southbank - it leaves Federation Square for dead
32: Kurilpa Bridge - fascinating architecture and engineering
33: New Farm Park and Powerhouse - free - fun culture
34. Easy commute to city - no two hour traffic jams just to get to work
35. Laid back and friendly and sometimes naive if thats wrong then I don't care - I love it!

Posted by Daniel Colasimone at 11:33AM on 9th September 2013

All good reasons, Kathy, I like it. Got a feeling there may be a Part 2 coming for this one, so some of those will definitely me included.

Posted by Zee Leigh at 09:03AM on 6th September 2013

Seems Brisbanites don't have a sense of humour. Your article made me laugh, I thought it was a nice bit of fluff on a Friday morning . You forgot to add a whole lot less traffic. :-)

Posted by Kathy Gough at 04:06PM on 26th September 2013

I couldn't agree more!

Posted by Kayla Flude at 10:22AM on 5th September 2013

Um.... The jacaranda tree photo in this article is from Grafton in NSW! :O http://tessross.wordpress.com/2012/10/31/hail-the-mighty-jacaranda/

Probably should maybe fix that one up ;)

Posted by Paulo Paskero at 08:01PM on 5th September 2013

Nah. It is too pretty to delete. Instead we will claim Grafton to be a suburb of Brisbane. Don't laugh, if Joh was still around he could do it.

Posted by Kayla Flude at 10:27AM on 5th September 2013

Otherwise, great article!

Posted by Rachael Archibald at 08:43AM on 3rd September 2013

Because we are beautifully naive

Posted by karyn cameron at 05:24PM on 31st August 2013

Reading this made me cringe. If anything, what you've said here actually justifies why Sydney and Melbourne are considered 'better' cities than this place.

Posted by Daniel Colasimone at 05:37PM on 31st August 2013

Agree to disagree karyn cameron. I reckon the case I made is watertight.