On your wedding day, surprises are inevitable—like whether or not your dad will cry during his toast—but we’re here to keep those surprises strictly positive.
No matter how close you are with your married friends, they will neglect to tell you certain things about tying the knot, so here are 33 things people don’t tell you about planning a wedding.
1. You have to order your wedding dress a billion years in advance.
2. The “wedding tax” is real and it sucks.
3. The same venue will be cheaper to hire if you tell them it’s for a work function (see wedding tax above).
4. You don’t need to spend money on save the dates, just send everyone a text. We all hate checking the mailbox anyway.
5. It’s a lot harder than some brides make it out to be.
6. But it’s a lot easier than other brides make it out to be.
7. These are the glory days of Pinterest, enjoy it while it lasts because you won’t use it again ‘til you’re up the duff!
8. Everything costs over $1,000. Everything.
9. You will learn the scientific name of at least 10 flowers.
10. To DIY is often more expensive than to not DIY.
11. Your plans to stick to a budget will go out the window the closer you get to the big day.
12. You will get sick of people asking, “How are those wedding plans coming along?”
13. You’ll also get sick of people asking if you’re stressed. It’s really not as stressful as everyone makes out.
14. There’s a chance you will need to buy toilet paper for the bathrooms, don’t say we didn’t warn you!
15. You will freak the f*ck out about your significant other seeing your wedding dress.
16. Chat to one of your lucky bridesmaids about how they can help you go to the toilet on the big day…and Google the reverse kanga, just in case.
17. If you’re not hiring a wedding planner, enlist a trusted friend to help coordinate the day.
18. There is no nice way to ask people for money.
19. Most venues require you to hire a security guard. Catcha later 500 bucks.
20. Some venues (even if they are restaurants) require you to bring in your own tables, chairs and linens.
21. Just to make your life more difficult.
22. You have to choose entrance songs for everyone in your bridal party and anyone who makes a speech so get that thinking cap on.
23. Organise snacks for the big day, you’ll most likely miss out on your canapes.
24. There’s a chance someone will call you a bridezilla. If they do, slap them.
25. You’ll experience short jolts of happiness when people RSVP no. More money for you!
26. Excel will become your best friend.
27. Everyone should quit their jobs and become a wedding videographer—$5,000 is not a bad fee for one day’s work.
28. You can find anything you need on Gumtree.
30. However much time you have to plan is how long it will take you. Got 12 months? It will take you 12 months. Got three months? You can do it!
31. There will be days when you do not want to think about, talk about or do anything to do with your wedding—and that’s okay.
31. You ARE allowed to chuck out the rule book and ditch the traditional stuff to make the day what you really want it to be. No one, and we mean no one, is going to use your handmade soap bonbonniere!
32. The ceremony passes by in one second, so remember to breathe and don’t sweat the small stuff.
33. You will be sad the minute your wedding is over so plan to jet off on your honeymoon, stat.
This article previously appeared on our sister site, The Urban List.
Photo Credit: Bustle