Over did it on the chocolate eggs this Easter? Me too. Restraint and moderation are not words I associate with the Easter long weekend (or any other weekend for that matter), so a small thing like food guilt was never going to stop me eating my body weight in blessed cocoa.
If, like me, you lived your best life this weekend and are now surrounded by brightly coloured foil wrappers and have (almost) as much chocolate around your face as in your belly, I’m pretty sure you’re questioning you’re adulting capabilities right now.
Other than feeling bloated and, frankly, exhausted (eating really takes it out of you) here’s all the thoughts I had straight after devouring the third (okay, seventh) serving of chocolate this weekend.
#1. Can you get a hangover from chocolate?
#2. I’ve definitely felt better. I’m never eating chocolate again.
#3. Nope, never. This is it.
#4. Okay, after this last Lindt bunny I swear I’m never eating chocolate again…
#5. I’ve still got the secret stash, though. This needs to last me the rest of April.
#6. I read somewhere that cocoa is good for you and has lots of antioxidants.
#7. So, I’ve eaten nothing but antioxidants all weekend—this is good, then?
#8. How long would I have to work out for to make as though the last 24 hours never happened?
*reads Womens Health to feel better about life/begin the challenging task of finding my abs.
#9. Surely a 20-minute walk around the block will cover it?
#10. I’ve just been tagged in a Bruce Bogtrotter meme on Facebook. It looks just like me RIGHT NOW.
#11. Mmm, chocolate cake.
#12. So, it turns out it takes 40 minutes of skipping to burn off one Cadbury Crème Egg. Shiiiiit.
#13. That’s it, I’m going to the gym every day this week.
#14. Right after I finish this bag of mini Crème Eggs…
#15. Christ, did I get through the emergency stash already??
#16. There’s chocolate IN MY HAIR (!!!!!). Who am I?!
#17. Did I keep the receipt for those skinny jeans? I’ll need to exchange them for a fetching muumuu.
#18. I’d murder someone for an apple right now.
#19. But will settle for a Crunchie…
#20. It would be rude not to crack open the Lindt balls from mum…
#21. Sod it, the diet starts once ALL THE CHOCOLATE IN THE HOUSE HAS GONE.
#22. I regret nothing.
Feeling a bit hangry? Read on for 21 arguments every couple has had at least once.
Image credit: Midult