Funny

What Your Shopping Basket Says About You

By Sophie Colvin - 26 Sep 2015

What does your shopping trolley say about you?

Full disclaimer: I snoop on other people’s shopping baskets. It’s a terrible habit and I always feel a smidge guilty when shoppers catch me starring at their 12 bottles of Diet Coke (seriously, if you love it that much, just get the real stuff). But it’s a fascinating insight into our inner worlds. Consider it anthropology, of sorts.

So, what’s in your basket, and what does that mean I’m thinking about you? Read on for an insight into the secret, or not-so-secret, lives of grocery shoppers.

Basket #1: A lone can of tuna, washing-up liquid, hair ties

Nothing goes together. There’s no discernable theme and you won’t be making a meal out of your basket contents any time soon. You know the one I mean… Yoghurt, potato gems and Vegemite. It’s like the Tourette’s of shopping baskets.
You are: At the supermarket to get all the shit your girlfriend forgot the first time around.

Basket #2: Mi-goreng, Lynx, mouth-wash and a bunch of bananas

On first inspection, this is an obvious one, but the bananas could be misleading.
You are: A student. The bananas are a nod to ‘mum raised me right’.

Basket #3: Kale, wholegrain anything, a 24-pack of eggs (just for the whites) and 13 chicken breasts

You spend a sickening amount of money on food that doesn’t taste as good as it should, considering the number at the bottom of the receipt. You can really relate to this guy.
You are: Bulking.

Basket #4: Supplements, protein bars and dubious fortified products

You bulk from Monday to Friday in the sense that you have a protein shake either side of your 30-minute workout. But come Friday night, all bets are off. Pass the Doritos and fill up your red cup. 
You are: Bulking. Kinda…

Basket #5: Diet soda water, fat-free yogurt and steamed greens

I once lived with a housemate who survived on nothing but the above trio. She was in great shape, if not entirely nourished
You are: A single white female under the age of 23 that likes to #thinspo.

Basket #6: Jiff, vacuum bags, Morning Fresh, Mr Muscle and some air freshener

It’d be easy to think that you’re just a really, really clean person, but no one runs out of all that stuff at the same time. This is the first time in a few moon cycles that you’ve ventured into the world of disinfectant.
You: Have a house inspection that week. Or a third date.

Basket #7: Condoms, Diet Coke, Berocca

You like to be prepared. And you back yourself.
You are: … Having the weekend we all wish we were having.

Basket #8: Toilet paper, sliced white, a bag of apples

I see what you’re trying to do there, looking all respectable with your week’s worth of fruit. Not a chance, champ.
You: Don’t own a kitchen. (No, a toaster doesn’t count.)

Basket #9: One of everything in the store

I’ve seen people shopping who were trying to manoeuvre two trolleys around the supermarket. Go home. Life’s too short. But seriously, you usually have at least eight litres of milk and are really making the most of the Shapes that are on special.
You are: Shopping for a family of six, or prepping your doomsday bunker.

If you want some further insights into your food consumption habits, find out what your drunk food says about you

Image credit: Optimum Health Studio

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