We all start off the year with the best intentions. You know, swearing that this year we’ll actually make that promise to live healthier only to falter come Easter (or, let’s be honest, January 31). Seriously, chocolate/wine/burgers seem to be just about everywhere and the office stairs seem more like a stairway to hell.
But getting your arse off the couch and into those jeans you’ve been lusting after is actually quite simple. We’ve teamed up with our mates over at Youfoodz and come up with seven tips that’ll keep even the laziest of oafs on track to meet their health goals. They are one hundred per cent serious, obviously, because if anyone is the gospel on treating cheeseburgers as the most important food group, it’s us.
Thank us for your guns of steel later.
#1 Multitask your way to muscles
It’s an all too familiar scenario. You start your morning planning to squeeze in a workout after work, but by the time 5 o’clock rolls around that plan is looking less and less desirable. You’re tired or maybe it’s raining out. But don’t sell yourself short, by fitting in a few short exercises here and there with what you’re already doing you can get that sought after booty. Watching Netflix? Well, if Tim Riggins is doing sprints, you can do a few sets of tricep dips. Squat while you’re cleaning your teeth, lunge your way to the fridge, moonwalk to the bus stop, the possibilities are endless.
#2 ‘Fess up to a judgy friend
We all have that health-obsessed, “It’s so easy, just cut out everything fun” friend. Make a pledge to send them a photo of literally everything you eat and beg them to shame you every time you so much as take a whiff of the smouldering temptress that is a woodfired pizza, fresh from the oven, oozing with cheese and calling you like your mum after curfew when you were 15. What were we talking about? Right, food shaming. Seriously, it will work. It might ruin your friendships, but it will work.
#3 Outsource your food
Laziness can’t be taught, it’s earned. And the last thing I want to do after I get home from work is stand over a pot waiting for the water to boil so I can drop some veggies in and hate my life even more. By that time, ordering a sexy pizza seems like such a better idea and, welp, there goes that summer rig. But then Youfoodz came along. If you haven’t already heard of these guys, here’s all you need to know. It’s convenient, fresh (never frozen), and they somehow manage to make healthy meals taste great (it’s not just salads!). Delivered straight to your door, it gets rid of those nasty temptations with the click of a mouse and the press of a button. Check out their “I can’t believe these are healthy” Summer Menu with items like Sticky Teriyaki Beef Stir Fry, Homemade Fish & Chips, Tuscan Lamb Pizza and more. Helloooooo summer bod!
#4 Walk to your wake-up call
Sometimes even the smallest of changes can make the biggest difference. Case in point: next time you set your alarm, put your phone or alarm clock across the room so you actually have to get up to turn it off. By that time, you’re doona-less and hitting snooze just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. If that gets too easy, tie your phone to your dog or to a robot vacuum cleaner. That way, you wake up while you chase the little jerk around, and get a bit of cardio at the same time. #blessed.
#5 Instagram is your stage
Half of being healthy is seeming healthy, right? Follow every damn fitspo account you can find, screen shot every last quote, meal, and meme, and post it like it’s the day before Christmas and you forgot to do your cards. Show your followers just how #clean you are. When it’s time to step it up a notch, I have two words for you: gym selfies. Workouts only happen if you document them, so get selfie-ing like it’s your damn job, and wait for the rig to fall into place.
#6 Treat yo’self
Whenever you reach a goal, be sure to reward yourself, you deserve it! But instead of resorting to cheat meals choose things that aren’t food (well, unless it’s a Youfoodz Salted Caramel Protein Ball). Ran your first marathon? Buy yourself some new clothes. Aced that new yoga pose? Treat yourself to a haircut. Did two pull-ups in a row? Well you, my friend, just earned yourself the right to book that holiday you’ve been dreaming of.
#7 Spray tan on your abs
If all else fails, a cheeky bit of faking it ‘till you make it never hurt anyone (unless you wanted to have a fake dog, then you’d just be weird). So head to your nearest spray tanning salon, and ask for the Joe Manganiello, they will get the hint. Of course, you could always do it at home, but I think we can all agree that a criss cross of orangey-brown lines on your tum isn’t going to cut the proverbial mustard. Crap, now I want a hot dog.
Image credit: Youfoodz
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