All the deets about the iPhone 8 and iPhone X have finally been released and we're flippin' excited—OMG facial recognition! It’s safe to say we have a love/hate relationship with this game changer of an invention. And, since it’s one of the most popular products of all time, we know we’re not alone.
We have the iPhone to thank for our 24/7 work culture, crippling anxiety, and disrupted sleep patterns. Also Siri, incredibly efficient food delivery, and the life changing torch function.
To celebrate the new release we’re counting down 10 things we’re now, sadly, completely incapable of doing without (or because of) our phones. TYSM for stunting us mentally and physically, Steve Jobs.
- Navigate yourself quite literally anywhere. When someone tries to tell me directions my eyes glaze over and I go into a largely undetectable micro coma. It’s cute. Then I open Google Maps.
- Be hungover. Hangovers have been both revolutionised and made immeasurably worse by the advent of the iPhone. Pro: Ordering greasy food from your sick bed has never been so incredibly easy. Con: Waking up after a night out now involves checking all possible means of communication for drunken posts, messages, those creepy likes, or inappropriate drunk dials. In the good old days what you couldn’t remember, couldn’t hurt you. It was a simpler time with significantly less shame spirals.
- Sit through a whole meal. I could be having lunch with Oprah and Jon Hamm and I’d still check how my Insta story was performing every seven minutes.
- Speak to another human. Weirdly, we’re now shocked, scared, and personally offended when someone tries to actually call us on our phones. If you still do this, you’re either a serial killer, that charity I gave money to ONE TIME that now thinks I am a good person and won’t leave me alone, or my mum. Either way there’s something deeply wrong with you.
- Do not even get us started on voicemails. Do NOT.
- Be bored. How can you feel boredom when clips from The Ellen Show are a mere click away? (How cute are those child geniuses srslllyyyyy)
- Tell the time. Analogue clocks. Lol.
- Owe someone money. IMA sit here and watch you transfer to my bank account.
- Be late. If your phone says leave at 7:45am you leave at 7:45am, dammit. Traffic is light!!!
- Enjoy the view (or the meal, the moment, life). If you go to the gym and don’t ‘Gram it, you might as well have sat on the couch eating Doritos. This is a fact backed by science.
Remember those days before the iPhone? They were called the 90s.
Image credit: Pocket Lint