The time has come. You’ve set those out-of-office emails and you’ve had a last-minute fret about whether or not you actually turned the iron off, even though you never used it.
We know you’re looking for a holiday filled with sun, sand and a whole lotta relaxin’ to the maxin’. We get it, we do, too. But unfortunately it’s not always sunny skies and rainbows. Here are 20 things that will totally, definitely happen on your summer holiday.
- You’ll complain that it’s too hot.
- Your mosquito bites will resemble a constellation, but be nowhere near as pretty.
- You’ll take a hotdogs-or-legs-style photo.
- You’ll also take the candid, ‘Oh, look at me on my inflatable slice of pizza pool toy,’ with the hashtags: #summerlovin #summer2k17 #beachbabe #lovelife.
- You’ll buy a new white bikini and pair of shorts that you just can’t take off.
- You’ll drink your favourite soda out of a glass bottle instead of a can—and they'll taste soooo much better!
- You’ll sweat. A lot.
- You’ll learn a few sentences in the language of the country you’re travelling to and feel like a true local.
- You’ll get sand in every single crevice.
- You’ll make the innocent mistake of looking in the direction of the sellers on the street and spend an hour insisting that you really don’t want the ‘genuine’ Gucci handbag.
- You’ll wonder how street-sellers fit 13 pairs of ‘Roy-Bann’s’ on top of their heads.
- You’ll spend hours walking to an ancient landmark, look at it for a split minute, then leave.
- You’ll buy a fanny pack.
- You’ll buy at least one phallic-shaped bottle opener.
- You’ll spend the whole time wishing that everyone back home has shit weather.
- You’ll meet people on nights out, become Facebook friends and never, ever speak to them again.
- You’ll wee in the sea. Sorry not sorry.
- You’ll wee in the swimming po…NO! You will NOT pee in the swimming pool.
- You’ll laugh at a hilariously-named foreign object in the supermarket.
- You’ll see an old, leathery naked man on the beach.