After last week’s arguably underwhelming episode (bar Arya becoming a badass, of course), I’ve been trying to temper my excitement for this week’s episode of GOT. Especially as it’s the second last episode of the season. And it’s called ‘The Battle of the Bastards’. But, after the intense promos, it seems that’s a pretty difficult task.
Opening up in Meereen and my first thoughts are a) it looks bloody hard to fire a flaming cannon ball from a ship, and b) HBO must have spent a helluva lotta money on CGI this episode because the cinematography is great from the get go. Dany is real mad at what’s going on and really taken aback when Tyrion drops some bombs of truth about the similarities to her and her Mad King father. Of course Tyrion would push for this parley with the masters, and Dany is wasting no time putting them in their place. Side note: When did Drogon become so well trained? And how on earth is it taking the fire of three giant dragons to burn down one ship? So many questions. But gotta admit, this Tyrion/Dany team is working pretty well.
Back in Westeros and it’s on like Donkey Kong. The meeting of the bastards. HAH greatest lie ever told, Ramsay, that you’re ‘a man of mercy’. The newly sassy Sansa has no time for this talking business and dear old Jon really needs to work on his poker face when meeting with psychopaths like Ramsay. I cannot WAIT for the showdown.
Planning a medieval war just sounds like a lot of blood and gore TBH. Sansa, rightfully, is a bit pissed that no one has asked her for suggestions, when she defs knows Ramsay the best.
This is the weirdest bonding moment I’ve ever seen between Davos and Tormund. Bonding over their love of their dead kings. WTF.
Yo, whaddup Mellisandra! Haven’t seen you in a while! I was wondering when you’d pop up again.
Surely it’s not safe for Davos to just be strolling around by himself in the middle of the night. How on earth did Shireen’s toy survive the fire that literally burned through human flesh? Someone explain, please. Love the shot of Davos against the sunrise, feels like the calm before the storm. Props to the director or whoever decides these things for the great cinematography so far.
Theon made it to Meereen and damn he’s getting a verbal bitch slap from Tyrion. But he deserves it because he was an ass back in the day. Dany cannot help herself by being intrigued by Yara wanting the throne and not Theon, and she lays down some evidently hard to swallow terms. But Yara knows what’s good for her. Not gonna lie, definitely picking up some sexual tension vibes between Dany and Yara in this scene. Very excited to see how this #girlboss alliance goes down.
YAS here we go. Drumroll please… The Battle of the Bastards is upon us! Only Ramsay would have burning bodies as decoration on a battle field. Christ, Rickon, you’ve probably got minutes left. You’ve got to run miles kid hurry up! My God, my heart is beating fast RUN RICKON RUN. And of course the bastard would aim the kill shot at the last minute. That was just plain MEAN.
JON GET BACK ON YOUR HORSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOOL. What about your battle plans!!!! Gawd that has to be a scary AF, seeing those horses running at you. And BAMN it’s on. This is possibly the most intense fight scene ever. Urgh this is actually revolting, they’re killing people while literally standing on top of dead people that they’ve just maimed...
NO JON DON’T GET TRAMPLED THAT’S NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO END YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS.
Oh wait, battle horns. Please please PLEASE let them be someone good. Praise whatever Westeros-watching gods Littlefinger prays to because he shows up in the nick of time.
Urgh Ramsay is literally the worst. He’s such a coward, running back to Winterfel. Can’t quite figure out if Sansa is happy about this turn of events or not that Jon is running after Ramsay. How on earth is Tormund alive and running next to Jon??? Weren’t you on your last legs a moment ago, Mr T?
Oh wait! Rookie error thinking a wooden door could stop a giant. It was almost predictable that Ramsay would have the final giant killing shot. Jon WHY did you drop your sword?! Evidently, he’d rather use his fists. He’s not dead yet! WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?!!
Never have I been so thrilled to see the Stark banner on something before.
Legit how on earth did they find Rickon’s body? At least he’s getting a proper Stark burial.
Sansa is enjoying this, seeing Ramsay bloody and locked up. Tell me that his dogs eat him. Please. It seems an appropriate ending to Ramsay after all. URGH THAT WAS UNNECESSARY AND I DID NOT NEED TO SEE IT THE NOISES WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE THANKS VERY MUCH. Seems like poetic justice almost. Rest in pieces, Ramsay, you will not be missed.
Hands down, the best episode of the season… I can’t wait to see how they’re going to top this for the finale.
Images: Gifs via Tumblr