Funny

15 Aussie Christmas Traditions That Actually Suck

By Jessica Pridmore - 01 Dec 2015

Christmas traditions Australia

We love a good ho ho holiday, but there are more than a few downsides to festive frolicking on our golden shores.

Those northern hemisphere folk think they’ve got it rough with all that snow/rain/sleet/below zero temps come Christmas time, but try sweltering humidity and attempting to roast a turkey on a BBQ! It’s enough to turn you veggo.

There’s a dark side to all this merriment that we wish would pack up and go back to the North Pole, but revel in the fact, young Grinchers, that Christmas comes but once a year.

  1. Lighting several thousand citronella candles with the intent to dine alfresco on Christmas day, only to have to eat inside because outside is now a foggy haze of mosquito poison. Citronella; the official scent of an Aussie Christmas?
  2. Squeezing all of your family members into your house, because it’s your turn to host Christmas day lunch. You don’t have enough chairs, cutlery, or dinnerware. #lifefail
  3. A plastic garden chair wrapped in tinsel screams ‘casual-chic’ Christmas.
  4. Attempting to cook a Christmas lunch with no air-conditioning. That paper crown you were wearing has melted onto your forehead.
  5. Opening a tin of Favourites only to find empty wrappers. An enormous family row erupts.
  6. Drinking champagne from 10am then falling asleep in the sun for half of the day, missing all the Home Alone re-runs on TV.
  7. Constantly re-applying sunscreen, leaving your new festive outfit with delightful yellow-looking stains.
  8. Attempting to watch the Boxing Day test in peace while your entire family is having a (loud) conversation around you.
  9. Deciding to have a relaxing ‘traditional’ Christmas lunch on the beach… you end up sharing your day with every tourist in the country.
  10. Burning your feet on the sand while playing beach cricket.
  11. The fact that you do not have a pool and it’s 38 degrees outside, but your neighbours have been splashing about in theirs since mid-morning. Bah humbug.
  12. Eating so many rumballs that you feel slightly sick/drunk all day.
  13. Driving out-of-town family members around the ‘burbs to see the Christmas lights, only to run out of fuel before managing to get to the nearest petrol station.
  14. Not remembering to put the prawn heads in the frezeer, then leaving them in fridge until Easter, because bin day sneaks up on you, like, every single week!
  15. Adding alcohol (insert suitable festive tipple here) to your coffee every morning over the festive season, knowing that that first day back to work without it will be hard.

Are you a Christmas Grinch too? Check out our article 8 Ways To Totally Avoid Christmas This Year!

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