Funny

21 Things You Should Never Say To A Queenslander

By Daniel Colasimone - 14 Mar 2017

queensland

Queenslanders may not have the blatant arrogance of New South Welshpeople, or the hipstery smugness of Victorians, but there is definitely a unique kind of state pride going on in the deep north.

Yeah, there is a lot of self-effacing humour to be had, but that doesn’t mean we like others talking down to us. In the same way it’s OK for you to hang shit on your parents but you get angry if anyone else hangs shit on them, Queenslanders don’t like being made fun of by outsiders.

So, if you’re talking to a Sunshine Stater, it’s best to be careful what you say. Here are 21 phrases you should steer clear of.

  1. “In an artistic and architectural sense, the Big Pineapple just isn’t as perfect as the Big Prawn.”
  2. “Maroon jerseys are OK but wouldn’t a nice apricot colour be nicer?”
  3. “I went to this beach in Portugal that was at the bottom of these amazing cliffs, with beautiful white sand and shimmering turquoise water. It might have even been nicer than Noosa.”
  4. “They get some pretty big crocs down south too!”
  5. “I actually can’t taste the difference between Queensland mangoes and any other mangoes.”
  6. “I just feel like the LIFESTYLE is better in Melbourne.”
  7. “You know, Paul Gallen doesn’t seem like a bad bloke, all things considered.”
  8. “Rod Young’s moustache isn’t THAT impressive.”
  9. “You know, that fella who’s up from Sydney isn’t a complete tosser.”
  10. “You know, I really like that chick from Melbourne’s quirky glasses.”
  11. “No, I don’t agree that Bindi Irwin will definitely be Prime Minister one day.”
  12. “There ARE better places in the world to holiday than Straddie.”
  13. “[insert Western Australian guy’s name here] has probably earned his spot in the Australian cricket team ahead of [insert any Queenslander of any ability’s name here].”
  14. “No thanks, Bundy Rum makes me violent and sick and it tastes like ass.”
  15. “Margot Robbie? She’s from Vic isn’t she?”
  16. “ANZ Stadium just has so much more atmosphere than Suncorp.”
  17. “Brisbane storms are pretty tame really.”
  18. “The thing I like about Sydney is the people.”
  19. “Isn’t it a bit hot for a barbie and game of park cricket?”
  20. “What’s so Great about the Barrier Reef anyway? At best it’s Very Good.”
  21. “I’m not so sure a border wall to keep the southerners out is the most sensible idea.”

Completely disagree with all of the above? You might just be that person everybody hates.

Image credit: Brooke Darling

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